1. Which of the following is not effected by wind chill?

        a. person         b. dog         c. car radiator         d. bird

Answer: c. Wind chill is the combination of wind and temperature and is based on the rate of heat loss from exposed skin such as that of a person or animal. As the wind increases, heat is carried away from the body at an accelerated rate, driving the body temperature down. Wind chill has no effect on cars or other objects.

2. What is the difference between sleet, hail, and freezing rain?

Answer: Hail is a chunk or stone of ice dropped from a thunderstorm. Sleet is frozen rain. Freezing rain is liquid rain that freezes to a surface such as the road or a tree.

3. True or False. It must be 32°F or colder for it to snow.

Answer: False. It has been known to snow with temperatures in the mid 40's. Temperatures are below 32°F up in the clouds where the snow is forming.

4. On the average, one inch of rain is equivalent to how many inches of snow?

        a. 10 inches         b. 1 inch         c. 5 inches         d. a foot

Answer: a. 10 inches of snow melts down to about an inch of liquid rain.

5.  Can it snow from clear skies?

Answer: Yes. Ice crystals sometimes fall from clear skies when temperatures are in the single digits or colder.

6. What is more hazardous to trees and power lines?

        a. One inch of wet snow         b. One inch of ice

Answer: b. An inch of ice is heavier than wet snow and is hazardous enough to cause power lines and trees to come down.
 

It is my parents 37th anniversary today.  The traditional wedding anniversary present for a 37th wedding anniversary is alabaster. Alabaster is a fine-grained, translucent form of gypsum, often carved into ornaments. 

In the medieval times only milestone anniversaries like 25th and 50th were celebrated. To mark the occasion of Silver or 25th wedding anniversary a husband would crown his wife with a wreath of silver. Likewise, he presented her a wreath of gold on a Golden or 50th wedding anniversary.

By middle-to-late 1930s, people began to celebrate 1st, 10th, 20th and 70th anniversary along with 25th and 50th. A gift for each of these milestone anniversary years was also decided by the society. The logic of presenting gifts was that stability deserves a reward and more the stability the greater should be the reward.

Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!!!

I am teaching Kurstin how to make animal print hair extension today.

**You can modify this next time you have a complaint letter to write.**





Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat ass waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your Internet servers downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to.

Frankly I don't care; it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought British Telecom were sh*t, that they had attained the holy p*ss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.

BT - wankers though they are – shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services, which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of tw*ts.

Just a reminder........

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

What those words on yearly performance reviews REALLY mean:

1. OUTGOING PERSONALITY Always going out of the office
2. GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS Able to bullshit
3. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS Spends lots of time on the phone
4. WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY Too ugly to get a date
5. ACTIVE SOCIALLY Drink's a lot
6. INDEPENDENT WORKER Nobody knows what he/she does
7. QUICK THINKING Offer plausible excuses
8. CAREFUL THINKER Won't make a decision
9. USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS Gets someone else to do it
10. EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL Speaks English
11. METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL A nit picker
12. HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES Is tall or has a louder voice
13. EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT Lucky
14. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15. CAREER MINDED Back Stabber
16. LOYAL Can't get a job anywhere else
17. PLANS FOR PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT Buys drinks for all the boys
18. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION Get to work on time
19. RELAXED ATTITUDE Sleeps at desk

All Goldwell CURL products are available at the salon. Consultations are FREE.

Curl Love: Moisturizing cream to define curls and waves

• Give lasting control and natural shine
• With heat and color protection

Directions: Scrunch into damp hair. Air-dry or use a diffusor.

Crystal Turn: Pliable gel wax to enhance curls

• For a flexible curl finish with beautiful luster
• Humidity-resistant for up to 24 hours
• With color protection

Directions: Apply to towel-dried or dried hair

Twist Around: Defining styling lotion for glamorous curl design

• Creates stable, long-lasting curls -- even in straight hair
• With heat protection up to 200° C (392° F) and color protection

Directions: Spray onto dry hair and style with hot curling tools.

These Goldwell NATURAL products will leave your hair feeling smooth and manageable. Consultations are FREE.

Just Smooth: Moisturizing milk for a naturally smooth, shiny look

• Tames flyaway hair without weighing it down
• Helps reduce breakage
• With heat and color protection

Directions: Spray evenly onto towel-dried hair.

Structure Me: Lightweight structurizing spray to enhance natural waves and layered cuts.

• Adds texture and structure with a natural sheen
• Also ideal for refreshing styles
• With heat and color protection

Directions: Spray evenly onto towel-dried hair.