This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. 

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

May 1, I will be going back to school full time for four months (May, June, July and August). I will open all day on Sundays and taking late night appointments (after 7 pm). Call the salon to schedule your appointments @ 446-1313 or text me @ 990-2853. 

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. 

Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

Candidate fell and broke arm during interview. 

Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office. 

Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer. 

Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico. 

Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece. 

Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm. 

Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

Candidate brought large dog to interview. 

Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up. 

Candidate dozed off during interview. 

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates. 

"What is it that you people do at this company?" 

"What is the company motto?" 

"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?" 

"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?" 

"Why do you want references?" 

"Do I have to dress for the next interview?" 

"I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?" 

"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?" 

"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?" 

"Does your health insurance cover pets?" 

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?" 

"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?" 

"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?" 

"Why am I here?" 

Also included are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process. 

I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. 

At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking. 

I feel uneasy indoors. 

Sometimes I feel like smashing things. 

Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars. 

I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington. 

I get excited very easily. 

I am fascinated by fire. 

I like tall women. 

People are always watching me. 

If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back. 

I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker. 

I never get hungry. 

I know who is responsible for most of my troubles 

If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival. 

I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me. 

I think I'm going to throw-up.  

A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 
"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back." 
"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got." 
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'